On My Way
by BonesBird
Summary: On his daughters' wedding day; Jon thinks back over their family life and regrets the decisions he'd made, until he is reassured that they always knew he was there.


**And another one moved over from AO3. The lyrics are from the song "On My Way" by Boyce Avenue.**

**This is set in 2178, while Jon is president of the Federation. Serena is about 26 years old, HC is 21 and baby Leah is 2. I'll post more with the family soon, I promise, I don't tend to write them in any coherent order.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

**I wasn't there the morning**  
**You first learned to breathe**  
**But I'm on my way, on my way**

This was a day he never thought he'd see, between his younger years, putting off starting a family and now, always working. It was something that he'd thought was out of his grasp, but here he was in his dress uniform, watching as his little girl took another breath and turned to him, looking as radiant as her mother had on their own wedding day, 28 years earlier. As he looked her up and down he felt a tear slide down his face in pride at how wonderful she looked. "Dad, are you crying?" She asked a minute afterwards, a laugh in her voice.

"Maybe a little." He admitted with a shrug. Laughing as Serena came and wrapped her arms around him. He squeezed her tight, relishing one last moment of her being his little girl. This was the last time he'd get the chance to do this.

"I thought it was moms who were supposed to cry at their daughters' wedding" Serena grinned, giving him another squeeze.

"They do, believe me, your mom has been crying on and off since we left the hotel." He smiled, remembering the five minutes he'd spent trying to calm Erika down before he'd left her in the main part of the church with the rest of their family.

"That doesn't surprise me. I don't get it." She pulled her face, but Jon just smiled. In 20 years or so she'd understand completely. Her little girl would be leaving home and starting her own life, then Rena would understand exactly how he and Erika felt right now.

"When Leah is old enough to get married you'll understand how we're feeling, you're our baby. It doesn't matter that you have your own baby now. Your mom and I had to fight through so much to have you and HC, and then I was never a great dad." He sighed, and thought about everything he had missed. Everything he hadn't been able to see. Everything Erika had had to tell him over the comm at night, or as they were preparing for bed.

"You were the best, dad." Rena said, her voice catching in her throat a little as the emotion in the room turned more sombre for a moment. This might be the only chance he had to apologise to her for never being there.

"You were too little to remember a lot of it. I wasn't there when you were born, either of you. I was always on a mission. I left your mom alone a lot, and she put up with me for far longer than she should have." He shook his head, his wife was possibly the most patient woman in the universe. How she had put up with him he didn't know. He was the one who had wanted a family, yet she was the one who had dealt with the daily issues of having that family. He'd always been away. "I left you kids with her. Even when you travelled with me, I still always put my career first. I wasn't even sure if I could be here, with everything happening on-" Serena stopped him, hugging him again before she spoke.

"Dad, the important thing is that you are here, and mom's here, and HC and Leah are here. You're the important people in my life. Whenever we needed you, you were never far away." He felt a little buoyed by her words, at least his children didn't resent him for the work he had undertaken. The work that had always kept him away, that had almost kept him away today. The work that had almost ended any chance this family had had before it even started. They had grown up with fleet parents, so maybe they understood more than most that work could rule your life if you let it.

"You promise me; you never let your work keep you away from Jack, or from Leah, and any other children you might have. OK?" He said seriously. He thought back to his own childhood, and he'd had a great one, but sometimes his parents hadn't been there when he'd needed them. And he certainly hadn't been available for his own children. He didn't want his grandchildren to go through the same situations.

"I promise, and dad?" Serena said, and the tone in her voice made him pause, wondering what she was going to ask him.

"Yeah?" He said.

"Promise me you'll stop beating yourself up? HC and I had a great childhood. We got to see things that no other kids got to see." She stopped with a grin and then pointedly looked to the door beyond which he knew her mother would be. "And we always knew we had parents who loved each other, which a lot of kids in our classes couldn't ever say. You never once let us down, and we love you." She smiled, and he couldn't help but return it, especially about them knowing he and Erika loved each other. For 48 years, they'd loved each other, and he hoped that it had given their children a foundation.

"I love you kiddo. Come on, let's not keep Jack waiting." He handed her the flowers that had been left for her, and just smiled until she took them.

"Thanks dad. Let's go." He let her take his arm, and then led her along the aisle. Feeling the tears well up in his eyes again. He regretted so much of what he had missed in her life, but he had always been there as soon as he could be. He'd always been on his way. He gave her away, and then slid onto the pew beside his own wife, and let his granddaughter climb over him. His family adding a new member today, but all he could think was that he had made it for one of his childrens greatest life events, and that was everything that mattered.

**I'll be there the morning**  
**You come out in white**  
**'Cause I'm on my way, on my way**


End file.
